Full Deck

I have too been playing with fifty-two cards.
Just cause I play so far from my vest.
Whatever I've got, I've got no reason to guard.
What could I do, but spend my best.


For some reason my confidence is flailing. I met a man who is so sweet, he does things nobody would do if they weren't seriously interested. But for some reason i feel so self conscious with him. For some reason i can't just relax and enjoy the time we spend together because I'm too concerned about thinking about, what he's thinking about me. I know that sounds crazy and its an issue I'm really struggling with. I want to be comfortable but i just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know the worst thing i can do is to just expect more of the same in my life. All Ive ever had are relationships where men keep me at arms length. I can't get close enough to them to feel comfortable with them. I should just relax and see where this goes and not expect it to be more of the same. Its time for something new and maybe this is it. I just know if i cant get out of my own head I'm never going to be intimate with this man and i mean that in a physical and emotional way. He has the MOST amazing date planned for tonight I'm going to go and try to shake off my anxiety and truly enjoy myself.