Friday, November 6, 2009

Full Deck

I have too been playing with fifty-two cards.
Just cause I play so far from my vest.
Whatever I've got, I've got no reason to guard.
What could I do, but spend my best.

For some reason my confidence is flailing. I met a man who is so sweet, he does things nobody would do if they weren't seriously interested. But for some reason i feel so self conscious with him. For some reason i can't just relax and enjoy the time we spend together because I'm too concerned about thinking about, what he's thinking about me. I know that sounds crazy and its an issue I'm really struggling with. I want to be comfortable but i just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know the worst thing i can do is to just expect more of the same in my life. All Ive ever had are relationships where men keep me at arms length. I can't get close enough to them to feel comfortable with them. I should just relax and see where this goes and not expect it to be more of the same. Its time for something new and maybe this is it. I just know if i cant get out of my own head I'm never going to be intimate with this man and i mean that in a physical and emotional way. He has the MOST amazing date planned for tonight I'm going to go and try to shake off my anxiety and truly enjoy myself.


  1. I hope that tonight's date makes things easier for you. Maybe it's just because he's not like other men you've had is what's making you wary. I'm sure that in time you'll grow more comfortable with him, more comfortable with the prospect of something new. =]

  2. it is on 169 it is lovely! and if you go you shold stop at the the golden lam buttery the hils will have you singing!

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